Talking The "Talk"

There are certain points in life where whatever you do seems grossly inadequate. That sense of inadequacy soon metamorphosizes into a cocoon of self-doubt, and before you know, you begin asking yourself the old-age question concerning the direction in which your life is headed.

I had been completely sure, since, the time I stepped into my teenage, that I would not face the need to ask myself any question pertaining to life's direction; I thought I knew what I wanted from life and how. Now, reflecting back, I cannot stop myself from wondering how naive I was. I never took into cognizance of the presence of 'growth' factor.

"Uh, what growth factor?", you'd ask. Well, people are like cheese (or wine, if you prefer that analogy); they mature as they age. The way cheese (or wine) develops a complex flavour as it ages, people are exposed to new horizons and their ideals evolve. The ways of the world do not stay black or white any more. Also, the "I want to be an Astronaut!" harp dwindles into oblivion.

Sitting at the rock-bottom, direction-less, is the hardest thing possible. And trying to seek a direction is the most overwhelming thing possible. More so, when you have turned a year older merely few days back. I am freaking out every moment, internally; I am not ready to be a grown-up yet!

All week I have been re-watching 'How I Met Your Mother' (started Season 5, a while back, that should explain the title of this post, right?), not really as a way of blowing off some steam, but more as an escape; escape from the need of having to send off that CV for my first real internship, escape from the requirement of having to tidy up my space before the dawn of next semester, and the list goes on and on.

Existential crisis is real, and not simply the stuff from the movies. But hey, aren't movies the very thing which has given us the antidote too; the antidote of going with the flow? And, I guess that is exactly what I am going to do.