Sometimes emotions turns bland, the person you adored a moment ago means nothing and you turn blank towards that person. You lose yourself,...

Growing up or out?

Sometimes emotions turns bland, the person you adored a moment ago means nothing and you turn blank towards that person. You lose yourself, your thought-process, your identity and feel lost, lost in whirl-winding storm which you think will end up devastating you. You feel broken, shattered, some-what incontent and your soul empty. Basically, the feeling is nil; there is no feeling of happiness or joy or sadness, the only feeling is about something amiss within thyself. They say "Serenity is not peace after the storm has passed but peace within the storm", but what happens when a person who is ever calm and always in a serene state of mind loses the serenity and harmony within self?

Well, remember I told you people a long back (in my School Farewell post) that college is a place where everyone struggles to keep their identity and uniqueness abound? To be concise and at the same time precise, I faced the 'identity losing phase' last December; although I got to experience the real fun of College during that month, I also experienced the whole stuff mentioned in the 1st paragraph within myself. I had just lost every sense of mine, neither I laughed the way I used to nor was able to shed my tears which I retort to after I feel totally distressed, I had got stuck in an emotional turmoil being in which nullified the significance of people in my life. And all I had were baffled emotions as I literally struggled to identify the wrong factor which was bugging me day-in-and-out.

Things seems meaning less, I can't see the light to this problem.
That particular feeling pricked me a lot but finally, when Holidays began I just broke off all strings within me connected to my College group, no messages to them, no phone call and no Facebook chats and that certainly helped me revive myself back. Meeting School friends too helped me forget about those nasty people but, it wasn't a total cure as I feel I don't belong to them anymore. Even visiting my Love, Marine Drive didn't help me either (Maybe due to the fact that I was just there for 2mins?).

All I know about myself now is, I am kind-of lost within myself trying to straighten the knots I have developed with time. Maybe I'll emerge as a different person out of this mess or just end up with some serious grudges against those morons which will last me lifetime. Time will witness everything. But the final me will entirely be due to me and my wish. Enough of serious talks I guess? Anyways it's too late now, I should be off. See ya guys later. 

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