"So you guys even started thinking about marrying?", I questioned to a well-acquainted classmate. She replied by saying nothing b...

Lets root for a healthy marriage over love or arranged!

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"So you guys even started thinking about marrying?", I questioned to a well-acquainted classmate. She replied by saying nothing but smiled and blushed a bit. My curiosity lead me to ask her whether her parents know about her affair, and she said "Not parents but sisters know". I tried to be non-judgement at that point. Again in the train that day, while returning home, I came across myriad tales of "how-we-met" from a group of young women sitting adjacent. After getting home, I switched on the television and was again bombarded young couples in love.

Today, love marriage which was a way forbidden some 20years ago is embraced with both the arms stretched wide. On this, some say that India too is surging ahead on the path laid down by our western-counterparts and favoring love marriages as opposed to our 'traditional' system of arrange marriages. But I beg to differ on this theory (Okay, I have a full-fledged 'marriage in India' timeline up my sleeves). It's not just a recent fad; even during Lord Krishna's era (which is like thousands of years ago) love happened and it eventually lead to marriage too!

Although, not a big fan of the "love-hype" myself, I feel there is nothing wrong with love marriages. Two mature people in love, caring for each other and planning to marry, what can possibly be wrong? Well, I had a small chit-chat on this topic with a friend from a conservative family at her sister's arranged wedding, in May. I simply asked her that she favors love or arranged and then came a response that shocked me, "I don't want to end up divorced, I'll go for arranged". It turns out that folks from conservative family are made to believe that love marriages always ends up bitterly! In reality, it is mostly the arrange marriages which are "dead" but enjoy continuity due to family pressure.

Okay, before you conclude anything, I am not rooting for love marriages here (as cliche it may sound, I don't like Indian marriages in the first place, especially my community's)! Love marriages too has its own drawbacks; in India majority of this type lacks parental support, which I think is a must for newly-weds. Plus, as love marriages is based purely on attraction as soon as this element vanished between a couple, the wedlock goes haywire and there is barely anything left.

Having witnessed both the categories of wedding worked well, I say it is not just which type of marriage works or not but the level of understanding, trust and compatibility a couple achieves in the course of their courtship. And folks, that is the secret of a happy married life. Before signing off, I know many of you must be pondering on the question: "What kinda wedding this girl plans to do?". Um, my answer is pretty straight-forward, "Whatever comes my way...".

(This post is my entry for Indiblogger's "Love marriage or Arranged marriage" contest.)


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7 comments:

  1. Good post Aditi. Def vote up! :)

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  2. Love or Arranged, Marriage anyways!!

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, in the long run its a healthy marriage that matters the most not its type. :)

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  3. Hey, Nice Post.
    Conservative people make sure that love marriages fail (sometimes).
    If just hop out of those high echelons and look at situation at the lower rungs, factors like caste and religion also play a decisive role. I would say that Love marriage is far from "surging ahead on the path laid down by our western-counterparts and favoring love marriages as opposed to our 'traditional' system of arrange marriages."
    Genuine love is definitely an elusive concept. I'd rather go for a love marriage rather than an arranged one. When you are really in love with somebody, compatability, beauty become secondary issues.
    BTW when is the deadline for this competition? Can you mail me the link to that page ?
    Please do me that favor. Email id : nithesha123@gmail.com

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  4. nice post :) all the best :) here have a look at these one too whenever you get time :)

    http://saurabhchawla2345.blogspot.com/2012/08/love-is-arranged-by-god-4.html

    http://saurabhchawla2345.blogspot.com/2012/08/its-all-written-up-there.html

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  5. Very Nice Post...Loved when you said "it is not just which type of marriage works or not but the level of understanding, trust and compatibility a couple achieves in the course of their courtship."

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